Dear Dark Man,
Do you still say "somethin' new," before you perform the Ruff Ryder's Anthem? Also, what's with the duct tape and rape stuff?
Sincerely,
A concerned citizen
ps. I have not bounced in a long time. It was good to do it again. Thanks for that.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
reviews of things
The Bouncing Souls 20th Anniversary Tour
At The Crazy Donkey
I wasn't going to go to this show. After working all day, I decided it might be fun to see a show that some people I like might be hanging out at. I called the Crazy Donkey to see if it was sold out. It was not sold out. I fed my dog, found my sneakers, and headed over to the show.
When I pulled into the parking lot this fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear signaled for me to roll down my window. I rolled down my window. "It's five dollars to park today," said this fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear. I asked, "Is it sold out?" I did not really want to pay five dollars to be told by some other fella wearing one of those shitty black hats that I couldn't even get into the show. The parking lot fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear sort of rolled his eyes as if to say, "There's no fucking way this show is going to sell out, this kid is a chump." He then said to me, "There's no fucking way this show is going to sell out, chump." I paid him five dollars and drove my car through the official parking lot, past a fence, onto a gravel pit covered in gravel, weeds, sticks, and broken beer bottles. This was the "special event" parking area.
Four different cars were blasting the Bro Hymn by Pennywise as I exited my car and walked back to the venue. I paid a lady with streaks in her hair twenty American dollars. I was asked by a security guard to empty the contents of my pockets and spread my arms out. This guard inspected my cell phone, cigarettes, lighter, and wallet. He then patted me down fairly thoroughly. I was wearing an old, faded New York Mets hat. The security guard removed this hat from my head to make sure I was not hiding drugs, weapons, or drug/weapon combos underneath it. It sucked because I don't have the best hair in general and it had been under a hat for about an hour and there's not much of it left to begin with. He took that hat off and it was all over the place and weird. Two other security guards snickered.
After getting my hat back I walked in and said hello to the people I knew there. I shook hands. I hugged. I said "hey, what's up?" to at least six people, possibly more. Some band was playing. Then some other band played. My brother and his friend showed up. We laughed at shit. I drank certain beverages. My brother is a fan of The Loved Ones and I am a fan of possible Joe Strummer covers; so we headed inside the venue to watch The Loved Ones. The Loved Ones had arranged it so that the song "Rainy Day Women #12 and #35" by Bob Dylan played over the PA system while they walked onstage. Right as Dylan finished the line "everybody must get stoned." The Loved Ones began playing their instruments. They began playing their songs shortly thereafter.
I don't know much about The Loved Ones besides the fact that they cover Springsteen and Joe Strummer. Their songs weren't half bad. A couple of kids started running into each other so I started running in place. A couple of kids didn't like that so I started doing push-ups. Another kid started doing push-ups. A kid tried to pick my legs up while I was doing push-ups, but I kicked at him and he stopped. I started doing push-ups again. I got bored with doing push-ups. I started doing jumping jacks. A couple of kids grabbed me and said, "This is hilarious man, right on." A couple of other kids grabbed me and said, "You're a fucking faggot." The singer of The Loved Ones said, "We're going to do a cover song now...it's by one of my favorite songwriters of all time, Conor Oberst." Considering The Loved Ones cover Springsteen and Joe Strummer and listen to Bob Dylan when they walk onstage, this choice of cover and statement makes no sense to me. I rubbed my stomach while patting myself on the head for a little bit. Then I switched hands. Some kid kept trying to knock my hat off of my head. I was not going to have my dreaded scalp exposed again. This kid did not succeed. Some other kid "moshed" into me on "accident" and the hat knocking kid high fived him. I walked closer to them and laughed hysterically. The mosher kid shoved me. It was funny. Some kids pulled him away from me and told him not to stoop to my level. I have no clue what my level is.
After all that, The Bouncing Souls played a whole bunch of songs. They did a slowed down cover of The Misfits' "Hybrid Moments." They covered The Cure. They played all of the old songs you could want to hear. Their singer sure looks really drunk whenever I see them. I like them.
At The Crazy Donkey
I wasn't going to go to this show. After working all day, I decided it might be fun to see a show that some people I like might be hanging out at. I called the Crazy Donkey to see if it was sold out. It was not sold out. I fed my dog, found my sneakers, and headed over to the show.
When I pulled into the parking lot this fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear signaled for me to roll down my window. I rolled down my window. "It's five dollars to park today," said this fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear. I asked, "Is it sold out?" I did not really want to pay five dollars to be told by some other fella wearing one of those shitty black hats that I couldn't even get into the show. The parking lot fella wearing one of those shitty black hats all the kids wear sort of rolled his eyes as if to say, "There's no fucking way this show is going to sell out, this kid is a chump." He then said to me, "There's no fucking way this show is going to sell out, chump." I paid him five dollars and drove my car through the official parking lot, past a fence, onto a gravel pit covered in gravel, weeds, sticks, and broken beer bottles. This was the "special event" parking area.
Four different cars were blasting the Bro Hymn by Pennywise as I exited my car and walked back to the venue. I paid a lady with streaks in her hair twenty American dollars. I was asked by a security guard to empty the contents of my pockets and spread my arms out. This guard inspected my cell phone, cigarettes, lighter, and wallet. He then patted me down fairly thoroughly. I was wearing an old, faded New York Mets hat. The security guard removed this hat from my head to make sure I was not hiding drugs, weapons, or drug/weapon combos underneath it. It sucked because I don't have the best hair in general and it had been under a hat for about an hour and there's not much of it left to begin with. He took that hat off and it was all over the place and weird. Two other security guards snickered.
After getting my hat back I walked in and said hello to the people I knew there. I shook hands. I hugged. I said "hey, what's up?" to at least six people, possibly more. Some band was playing. Then some other band played. My brother and his friend showed up. We laughed at shit. I drank certain beverages. My brother is a fan of The Loved Ones and I am a fan of possible Joe Strummer covers; so we headed inside the venue to watch The Loved Ones. The Loved Ones had arranged it so that the song "Rainy Day Women #12 and #35" by Bob Dylan played over the PA system while they walked onstage. Right as Dylan finished the line "everybody must get stoned." The Loved Ones began playing their instruments. They began playing their songs shortly thereafter.
I don't know much about The Loved Ones besides the fact that they cover Springsteen and Joe Strummer. Their songs weren't half bad. A couple of kids started running into each other so I started running in place. A couple of kids didn't like that so I started doing push-ups. Another kid started doing push-ups. A kid tried to pick my legs up while I was doing push-ups, but I kicked at him and he stopped. I started doing push-ups again. I got bored with doing push-ups. I started doing jumping jacks. A couple of kids grabbed me and said, "This is hilarious man, right on." A couple of other kids grabbed me and said, "You're a fucking faggot." The singer of The Loved Ones said, "We're going to do a cover song now...it's by one of my favorite songwriters of all time, Conor Oberst." Considering The Loved Ones cover Springsteen and Joe Strummer and listen to Bob Dylan when they walk onstage, this choice of cover and statement makes no sense to me. I rubbed my stomach while patting myself on the head for a little bit. Then I switched hands. Some kid kept trying to knock my hat off of my head. I was not going to have my dreaded scalp exposed again. This kid did not succeed. Some other kid "moshed" into me on "accident" and the hat knocking kid high fived him. I walked closer to them and laughed hysterically. The mosher kid shoved me. It was funny. Some kids pulled him away from me and told him not to stoop to my level. I have no clue what my level is.
After all that, The Bouncing Souls played a whole bunch of songs. They did a slowed down cover of The Misfits' "Hybrid Moments." They covered The Cure. They played all of the old songs you could want to hear. Their singer sure looks really drunk whenever I see them. I like them.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
one on one v.3
Nick from India 5,000 stopped by to rap about some things. This is what he had to say.
Me- I'm going to make some oatmeal. Do either of you want oatmeal?
Nick- I'll have some oatmeal.
Me- Cool. It's maple flavor...is that ok for people like you?
Nick- Yeah man, that's fine.
Me- Sick.
http://www.myspace.com/theindiafivethousand
Me- I'm going to make some oatmeal. Do either of you want oatmeal?
Nick- I'll have some oatmeal.
Me- Cool. It's maple flavor...is that ok for people like you?
Nick- Yeah man, that's fine.
Me- Sick.
http://www.myspace.com/theindiafivethousand
Monday, April 13, 2009
one on one v.2
A few months ago, I was able to have a bit of a conversation with Von from Capital about what he's been up to, where the band is headed, and the state of Long Island bands in general. This was conducted via text message. It's moderately dramatized, but gets the basic idea of what was said.
Von- Yo, what are you up to later on?
Me- Not sure, what's going on?
Von- We're gonna have some folks back to the apartment, nothing crazy really...some drinks...some chips...gonna bust out the wii man. Come by.
Von- You coming out?
Me- Well, there's this shitty dance night thing down in like Amityville. They play like new wave and stuff, it's probably not the greatest scene, but it's real fun to jump around and make fun of folks.
Von- That's weak, man.
Me- Sorry, we really enjoy bumming people out. And the dance night seems to be the place to do it right now.
Von- I dig it man, come hang soon. Bring those chips man. Those chips from last time fucking ruled.
Me- Will do. Have a good one!
www.justaaudial.net
www.myspace.com/capitallihc
Von- Yo, what are you up to later on?
Me- Not sure, what's going on?
Von- We're gonna have some folks back to the apartment, nothing crazy really...some drinks...some chips...gonna bust out the wii man. Come by.
Von- You coming out?
Me- Well, there's this shitty dance night thing down in like Amityville. They play like new wave and stuff, it's probably not the greatest scene, but it's real fun to jump around and make fun of folks.
Von- That's weak, man.
Me- Sorry, we really enjoy bumming people out. And the dance night seems to be the place to do it right now.
Von- I dig it man, come hang soon. Bring those chips man. Those chips from last time fucking ruled.
Me- Will do. Have a good one!
www.justaaudial.net
www.myspace.com/capitallihc
Sunday, March 29, 2009
pearl jam songs made better by my dog scratching a bed in time to the song
tremor christ
nothingman
bugs
pry, to
nothingman
bugs
pry, to
Monday, March 23, 2009
reviews of things
Morrissey
at The Bowery Ballroom
March 21st, 2009
Burt was able to get tickets. He invited me to go with him. I smiled for a long time after agreeing to go. I sort of forgot about it for a few months, or at least I was able to avoid harping on it daily. About a week before I started getting fairly excited about it. (This is pretty much a lie because I told everyone I knew in the world I was going at least seventeen times.) We had made plans that would be considered "big" for us. There were voicemails left and text messages sent to set up an ultimate, roving hangout session with an assortment of people both before and after the show in the great big city, on the lower east side. We met at my house after I got off of work. To begin our big plans, we started drinking and scouting out train times using the internet room in my house. After deciding on a train, I left Burt to his own devices in the internet room. I had to wash, shave, put non work clothes on, and feed my dog. When I left the internet room I told Burt not to go to that poop.com website he always goes to. Upon entering the internet room again I was washed, shaved, in non work clothes, and the proud owner of a recently fed dog. Burt informed me that he had indeed gone to that poop.com website he always goes to. I told him it was ok. We left for the train station shortly thereafter.
at The Bowery Ballroom
March 21st, 2009
Burt was able to get tickets. He invited me to go with him. I smiled for a long time after agreeing to go. I sort of forgot about it for a few months, or at least I was able to avoid harping on it daily. About a week before I started getting fairly excited about it. (This is pretty much a lie because I told everyone I knew in the world I was going at least seventeen times.) We had made plans that would be considered "big" for us. There were voicemails left and text messages sent to set up an ultimate, roving hangout session with an assortment of people both before and after the show in the great big city, on the lower east side. We met at my house after I got off of work. To begin our big plans, we started drinking and scouting out train times using the internet room in my house. After deciding on a train, I left Burt to his own devices in the internet room. I had to wash, shave, put non work clothes on, and feed my dog. When I left the internet room I told Burt not to go to that poop.com website he always goes to. Upon entering the internet room again I was washed, shaved, in non work clothes, and the proud owner of a recently fed dog. Burt informed me that he had indeed gone to that poop.com website he always goes to. I told him it was ok. We left for the train station shortly thereafter.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
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