Monday, June 1, 2009

disappointing your parents and dying alone v.1

this appears in the new issue of rawlife zine. dr. drewce alexander asked me to do a little something about kiss.

What follows is a list of twenty one statements regarding the rock group Kiss. It is up to you to determine which statements are fact, and which are fiction. Good luck, I hope you make it.

1-The song "Christine Sixteen," written by Gene Simmons(bass) when he was twenty eight years old is about wanting to sleep with a sixteen year old girl (and most likely actually going through with it).

2-Lou Reed assisted in writing lyrics for the Kiss concept album Music From The Elder.

3-They have never manufactured any merchandise that would take away, or add to anyone's immediate impression of their music.

4-They were made for lovin' you.

5-The deep cut "Hard Times," from the album Dynasty was covered by the New York hard rock group the Cro-mags.

6-They'd like you to lick it up, whoa.

7-Cold gin is the only thing that keeps them together.

8-Their drummer's name is Peter Criss(drums) and he wore make-up to make him look like a cat.

9-Peter Criss(drums) is the proud father of several well adjusted, successful children who love him very much.

10-They set out to record their third full-length record with Steve Albini, but later scrapped the session tapes.

11-They are all handsome.

12-They have toured with Aerosmith.

13-The seventies were a pretty fucked up decade.

14-They starred in a film about a phantom in an amusement park that involved evil robot thems.

15-Some of the band members originally performed under the name Wicked Lester.

16-No one has ever dressed up as Kiss for Halloween.

17-Ace Frehley(lead guitar) died in a motorcycle accident while crossing the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan on October 17th, 1987.

18-Gene Simmons(bass) has never consumed an illegal drug, or an alcoholic beverage in his entire life.

19-Paul Stanley(rhythm guitar) once performed in a side project called The Dudes of Wrath.

20-Paul Stanley(rhythm guitar) is an accomplished painter. People buy his paintings.

21-In a film documentary featuring candid interviews with each band member, it is revealed that Peter Criss(drums) heard somewhere that some of their fans believe that they as a band, collectively do not use heat.

Let's see how well you scored.

Factual statements were:1,2,4,6,7,8,12,13,14,15,18,19, 20

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