Rolling Stone has a giant book called The Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll. I was given the Third Edition for Christmas a few years back. I have decided to provide my own entry for each one in the book. Summer vacation is over. This will update at least once a week from now till the end of time.
Abba-I know a lot of words to a lot of Abba songs. Abba is kind of fucking great. People look at me funny when I say that. I tell everyone that my mom used to listen to their records whenever she cleaned the house. I tell everyone I just picked it up from being a little kid and cleaning with my mom. This is a lie. Muriel's Wedding is a good movie.
ABC-Like Roxy Music and Heaven 17 if they were terrible.
Paula Abdul-She rapped with a cat, or a fox, or a cat with sunglasses.
Ac/Dc-The best band to jog to of all time. Bon Scott died.
Johnny Ace-Harvey Keitel is a big fan.
Roy Acuff-Taught Hank Williams some tricks. Did yo-yo tricks.
Adam and the Ants-When I was a kid I would see the video for Goody Two Shoes and I thought it was making fun of Michael Jackson. I thought the whole song was some kind of Michael Jackson diss because Adam Ant's "romantic pirate" outfits looked like Michael Jackson's "michael jackson" outfits.
Bryan Adams-Canadian. Kind of looks like Luke Skywalker. His band in high school broke up because Jody got married. If he sees a fence, he will hop over it.
King Sunny Ade-Like Bob Marley sans beer pong, tribal tattoos, and the description "he's like totally like deep, right?"
Aerosmith-They wrote a song called Dude Looks Like A Lady. None of them are virgins.
Christina Aguilera-She got married once.
a-ha-Really shitty ska bands covered them.
Air-People really liked The Virgin Suicides. Jarvis Cocker sings on some of their songs.
Air Supply-It isn't funny, dickhead.
Alabama-They wrote a song about minor league baseball. No one liked it.
The Alarm-They never have their songs on karaoke lists.
Arthur Alexander-Everyone great covered him.
Alice in Chains-Sucked.
Lee Allen-Dude played with Fats Domino and Little Richard.
Luther Allison-He had a band called the rolling stones before Mick Jagger did.
Mose Allison-He used the words "yakkin'" and "dames" in a song.
The Allman Brothers Band-Like the Band, but boring and mediocre. They played guitars. A bunch of even boringer, mediocre-er jackasses play with them these days.
Herb Alpert-My mother's mother would shred to a tape of his.